Navigation, Negotiation and the Rest of the Baggage

I moved to LA in March of 2006.  Newly married, new city, new home....but at 42, carrying all of my past patterns, expectations, behaviors, etc.
In my prior life the house was my sole domain.  Bob didn't even see the house until we closed on it....if I was happy, then the house would be happy.  So of course in my new marriage I expected no interference on decorating, furniture placement, etc.  WRONG!!!!!
Two years ago we finally agreed upon re-doing the house that we were living in.  My stipulation - give me a budget and don't get involved after that.  As hard as it was for Dave and as many times as I had to tell him to back off, the result was great!  And, many times he walks in the door and says how great it looks.

Fast forward to today.....Dave and I have just completed a 4 year negotiation on turning a lower level bedroom into an office for me.  I actually had to have a melt down like a 3 year old (and say some unpleasant things) to get to this point.  I've always had my "woman cave".  I need my space and he has his office...what am I, chopped liver!!!!! He had put his parents old bedroom furniture in the room.  It was not antique, just old.  But the thought of parting with a tangible thing of his parents was hard.  The process of me having to "ask permission" to do something in my home was hard.  But here we are....old furniture is gone, new furniture and art work has been ordered...the wheels are in motion.

What's the point of all this?  Two hard headed control freaks can happily co-exist, and even enjoy it!  We all bring past experiences, habits, expectations and needs to our today.  Hopefully we never stop learning how to adapt those to our today!