Dave and I were in FL in April. I told him the that mom would not make it much longer. He was convinced she would but I could feel her spirit going. It was the first time I knew her will was coming to an end. She and I alike...we will "will" things to happen! She knew that she could no longer live on her own and I was trying to work on alternatives. This whole process of going through her things that made her happy, secure.....like we all have, has been enlightening. Ask yourself, who is going to clean your stuff out? What will they learn/understand about you? Things that you value, know the history behind, will just be "stuff" to other people. But it was mom's "stuff", it gave her comfort and security. It was an honor to get to see her from my age, experience and perspective. Mom was a simple woman of faith, a complex woman of experiences. Her house was a place of refuge. You never left hungry, you never left without hearing about God, you never left if you needed a place to sleep.
So many memories....mom was born on a farm in GA. They grew up with nothing. Her mother watched her house, husband and baby burn down in an uncontrollable fire. The family moved to FL, again to farm. Mom had to quit school in the 8th grade...two reasons...her father died and girls were, at that time, not granted an education. Your job was to marry and reproduce. But she had a lucky star...her beautiful smile, the way she could talk to anyone and immediately make friends. She had an independent, strong, resilient spirit. Even at the last, she challenged me, the one she trusted to make her decisions.
Mom had many chapters in her life, as we all do. She made lemonade out of lemons. She would sit and have coffee with me when I was a child (BTW I haven't had coffee for years) and talk with me like a friend. She and I are more alike than I want to admit. And I am proud of that...at last!
She had a peach tree and pomegranate tree...these were the trees that were used for switches. When the time for discipline came, we had to go out and pick our switch....it was part of the punishment. Of course, I picked branches or little nothing's....and then I would have to go out again. And I made her chase me around the house one time.....she did catch me. And I paid the price!
What else, grilling onions outside, tying Teresa's foot to the bed in the middle of the night, painting Mike's fingernails black, dipping Tim's hands in warm water in the middle of the night, jumping off the roof, thinking it was fun, sparklers to be lit for dates, waiting in our bedrooms on Christmas morning until we could come out, calling "good night" to everyone, holiday dinners around the "big table" in the dining room, the classic family dishes, football games in the front yard, walks in Wingfield after holiday with the niece and nephews, when Bob died I spent 2 weeks just letting her take care of me...I was 41 but I still needed "mom". It has been a blessing that I can .....I could go on and on.
God bless you, Mom, we love you!
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Daddy
Daddy has been on my mind lately...not sure why... He was a remarkable man! He grew up in New York City. His parents had immigrated from Lithuania in the late 1800's. His dad was an architect, his brother followed suit but Daddy chose a different route. He went into to the army, served in WWII, built airstrips on islands in the Pacific, shot a few times....funny, but he would never, ever talk about his experiences in the war.
He left NYC, moved to Miami, raced cars and speed boats, played the ponies (too much sometimes), loved Jai Alai. Constantly reinventing himself! He moved to Orlando in the early 50's, met Mom through mutual friends, started building the first subdivisions and mid-rise office buildings in Orlando. After only 6 weeks, he talked Mom into going on a fishing trip with him....remember this in 1952, in the South, a Jew with a Baptist! Daddy had already been married once before, was 18 years older (is there a family trend?) so it was a big deal to take an unsupervised trip. They wound up in Valdosta, GA, deciding at some point to cross the state line and get married! No waiting period in GA! I guess he was also a great salesman (another trend???)
They tried for 10 years to have kids. Mom used to fly down to Miami for what at the time were state of the art fertility treatments. No luck! That's where I come into the picture. Adoption was so different "back in the day". They already knew that Michael was going to be theirs....just waiting on the birth. But, one day in December, their attorney called and said there was a baby girl that had just been born and was available...did they want her? YES! And 2 days later I was "home".
Daddy and I always had a great relationship. He never had to spank me, it was just his look! That was enough! I never wanted to disappoint him! He also talked with me on an intelligent level..never talking down to me. I remember as young as 5, we would spend Saturday mornings together, driving around to various construction sites. At that time he was still smoking. I clearly remember being on the intersection of 434 and 427 and making up a rhyme..."Leaders don't smoke and leaders don't drive fast, so please leaders don't smoke and drive fast". Odd what sticks with you. So our Saturday's were going around to work sites, then we would go the the Coca Cola plant and he would buy a flat of 8oz glass bottles of Coke. Then we would go to Ronnies deli...first lunch...then get weekend supplies...smoked chubs, pickles, bagels, nova, cream cheese with chives, almond horns and rainbow cookies! Sunday...it was "Meet the Press" and "Face the Nation". Once football came on, I was out to the pool! But at a very early age he stressed how important it was that I get a good education, be able to take care of myself, be self-reliant. I think it was my 12th birthday present...the Kiplinger Letter that was new to the press. Days of going through Dean Witter brokerage statements to teach me about the market, every few months of sitting down and reviewing what it takes to run a household from a financial perspective. He taught me to drive, vetted boyfriends, hated my first husband, always stated his mind.
He had one of the first quadruple bypass surgeries in the country. The Debakey team flew in from Houston and performed it at FL Hospital on Rollins. I still remember sitting in the lobby, at that time there were a lot of restrictions on where children could go in hospitals, but when I finally got to go to the ICU, I remember how cold the room was, the machines, tubes, the cold slab...not a bed. But he made it! And quit smoking but yet had another quad bypass....and still made it!
I was with him when he had his last stroke. I held his hand when he died in the middle of the night. I miss him. There are so many times I wish I could pick up the phone and call, or sit and watch the Sunday newshows, debate politics, just ask for advice, just hang out!
He left NYC, moved to Miami, raced cars and speed boats, played the ponies (too much sometimes), loved Jai Alai. Constantly reinventing himself! He moved to Orlando in the early 50's, met Mom through mutual friends, started building the first subdivisions and mid-rise office buildings in Orlando. After only 6 weeks, he talked Mom into going on a fishing trip with him....remember this in 1952, in the South, a Jew with a Baptist! Daddy had already been married once before, was 18 years older (is there a family trend?) so it was a big deal to take an unsupervised trip. They wound up in Valdosta, GA, deciding at some point to cross the state line and get married! No waiting period in GA! I guess he was also a great salesman (another trend???)
They tried for 10 years to have kids. Mom used to fly down to Miami for what at the time were state of the art fertility treatments. No luck! That's where I come into the picture. Adoption was so different "back in the day". They already knew that Michael was going to be theirs....just waiting on the birth. But, one day in December, their attorney called and said there was a baby girl that had just been born and was available...did they want her? YES! And 2 days later I was "home".
Daddy and I always had a great relationship. He never had to spank me, it was just his look! That was enough! I never wanted to disappoint him! He also talked with me on an intelligent level..never talking down to me. I remember as young as 5, we would spend Saturday mornings together, driving around to various construction sites. At that time he was still smoking. I clearly remember being on the intersection of 434 and 427 and making up a rhyme..."Leaders don't smoke and leaders don't drive fast, so please leaders don't smoke and drive fast". Odd what sticks with you. So our Saturday's were going around to work sites, then we would go the the Coca Cola plant and he would buy a flat of 8oz glass bottles of Coke. Then we would go to Ronnies deli...first lunch...then get weekend supplies...smoked chubs, pickles, bagels, nova, cream cheese with chives, almond horns and rainbow cookies! Sunday...it was "Meet the Press" and "Face the Nation". Once football came on, I was out to the pool! But at a very early age he stressed how important it was that I get a good education, be able to take care of myself, be self-reliant. I think it was my 12th birthday present...the Kiplinger Letter that was new to the press. Days of going through Dean Witter brokerage statements to teach me about the market, every few months of sitting down and reviewing what it takes to run a household from a financial perspective. He taught me to drive, vetted boyfriends, hated my first husband, always stated his mind.
He had one of the first quadruple bypass surgeries in the country. The Debakey team flew in from Houston and performed it at FL Hospital on Rollins. I still remember sitting in the lobby, at that time there were a lot of restrictions on where children could go in hospitals, but when I finally got to go to the ICU, I remember how cold the room was, the machines, tubes, the cold slab...not a bed. But he made it! And quit smoking but yet had another quad bypass....and still made it!
I was with him when he had his last stroke. I held his hand when he died in the middle of the night. I miss him. There are so many times I wish I could pick up the phone and call, or sit and watch the Sunday newshows, debate politics, just ask for advice, just hang out!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
DOMA, Prop 8
This week has been raft with discussion on DOMA and Prop 8. I have a few friends that did legalize their long term union and I celebrate with them. I find it interesting that so many are feeling it ok to criticize things without thinking about how that may apply to them, when you are discussing sin. I cannot speak to the teachings of the Koran, I can speak to the teachings of the Bible, the Torah and the Talmud. "Judge not...." ......" Cast the first stone".....
For instance, when you marry, you are committing yourself for life. How many people do you know who have divorced their spouse after a few years because....well...whatever....the effort got to hard, their spouse was going through a bad time, they got bored....Or, how many times have you broken one of the commandments? What does it matter if you go to confession every Sunday, yet keep doing the same things over and over? Or "fall out, speak in tongue" on Sunday but go back to the same behavior on Monday?
I keep coming back to the same thing....God is LOVE! Just take a look at the world! The number of races, colors, beliefs, living situations. He/she said were created in their image and if that image is perfection, then we are perfection. Each of us is a work of God's manifested beauty on Earth!!!
For instance, when you marry, you are committing yourself for life. How many people do you know who have divorced their spouse after a few years because....well...whatever....the effort got to hard, their spouse was going through a bad time, they got bored....Or, how many times have you broken one of the commandments? What does it matter if you go to confession every Sunday, yet keep doing the same things over and over? Or "fall out, speak in tongue" on Sunday but go back to the same behavior on Monday?
I keep coming back to the same thing....God is LOVE! Just take a look at the world! The number of races, colors, beliefs, living situations. He/she said were created in their image and if that image is perfection, then we are perfection. Each of us is a work of God's manifested beauty on Earth!!!
Friday, June 28, 2013
MOM!!!!!!!
This past week has been a series of hours on end of calls about what services are available to navigate the road of aging parents! It has been frustrating, confusing, time consuming...and not my normal..."here's my question, I want a direct answer." Plus, mom has been extremely uncooperative. My sister and I have both been on the phone, I'm exhausted. I've gone through the conversations about moving her out to live with us in CA but do not think it is a viable option. I worry about hiring in home help in terms of not being able to supervise them from CA. Mom, of course, is pissed about me trying to help...oh,except when she needs money transferred to her accounts...then...we're "best buds". Where is God and nature when the jig is up? If it were me....let me fall asleep on a bench in my backyard, with the sun shining....all things taken care of...no worries, just good memories!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Road Trip 2013
Nine days, 2000 miles! Coastal fog, mist, wind and cold. Lush green forests to wild river rapids to rocky beaches. Volcanic sulphur "hot pots" at 5500 feet, glacier lakes at 8500 feet, false summits at 8000 feet (true summit was 14,200 feet). Beautiful drives on winding roads surrounded by tall, ancient trees on one side, ocean on the other. Arctic meadows to Central Valley heat. Serendipity moments. That's how I would describe our road trip! There was something different everyday!
I will freely admit that I was apprehensive about this trip. I had never, as an adult and I don't think as a child, taken an extensive road trip. I was concerned about spending hours on end in the car with a stop here and there for bathroom and fuel. I was concerned about agreeing where to eat and changing hotels every day. Crazy, I know, because I did that for years when I was working! And by the time you spot a "photo op" you've already driven by, so do you want to turn around and go back just to get a picture? YES!!!
A few things I learned along the way:
1. The great thing about taking the car is you can throw in a bunch of stuff that you "might" need/want. Who cares, you're not checking luggage.
2. The packing list differs from a flying trip packing list. We packed a flat of water, wine, snacks, fruit, clean up stuff, small cooler, things that make it comfortable. See #1.
3. It really helps if you get along with your traveling companion. Afterall, you will be in the car with them for several hours, trying to agree on places to stop, places to eat, and in a hotel room with them for the night and sharing a bathroom. I can't imagine how bad it would be to be locked in a car for hours and then a hotel room with someone if you were in a disagreement.
4. Fortunately, Dave and I have always traveled well together. We have our system worked out. However, I would say that you should agree upon important things (and the little things are important because one can get cranky with a bit less provocation), either overtly by discussion or you both just get it. For instance, usually Dave goes first in the shower because I need a few more minutes to wake up. Sometimes that changes, depending upon our schedule. I get my clothes for the next day out the night before and stage bathroom stuff to pack as I go in the morning and I always ask my driver (Dave) about departure time and back my morning "to do's" into the time so I'm ready to go. Also at bedtime .... noise, TV, what happens when one likes to stay up later - with the TV on? We got into a relaxed vibe ....after day 2, I was sleeping the whole night, waking up rested and ready to go. (At home, I rarely sleep more than 4 hours straight!)
5. Flexibility and a sense of adventure are key!
6. If you are the passenger, try and stay awake! Not only can you help the driver avoid a near crisis situation but you can also relieve the driver of road boredom with entertaining conversation.
7. If you are the passenger, you get to really take in all of the scenery! Try not to yell, "look at that!", only seconds later to be followed up by, "Jesus Christ! You almost got us killed!" Afterall, you asked the driver to look! Just take pics out the car window and share later!
8. No bitching or complaining. Who wants to be traveling with a kill joy!
9. If one of you is having "traveler's distress", the other should understand, be empathetic..afterall, it could be, and probably has been you.
10. Wine at the end of the day's trip makes it all better!
We saw some really beautiful sites! We found some places that we would have only found traveling by car. One morning we stopped for breakfast in Point Reyes. Cute little town, started talking with the waitress about the lighthouse and decided to back track and go for it. It was foggy, windy and cold. It was 20 miles down a winding road so the drive took most of an hour and when we got there, walked half a mile, mostly uphill, we saw the sign at the entrance to the lighthouse that indicated the walk up and back was was equivalent to climbing the steps of a 30 story building! We went for it! Despite thick fog and my fear of heights! Another great find, a place for breakfast outside of Jenner, CA. Timber Cove Inn! The setting was stunning! Finally, not only sea and rugged cliffs, but sun!!! We just happened along on the road and decided to stop in. Actually Dave pulled in. The sign indicated "lunch" but Dave thought we might just ask about breakfast! He was right! And my mimosa was fabulous! And the walk after breakfast was peaceful, beautiful...perfect.
A thing I found most amazing...the number of towns in Northern CA that are just spots, really dots, in the road. Populations from under 50 to just under 200. I marvel at how people decided to live here, what they do, where they shop for just basics...obviously everyone knows everyone...or maybe not, the stunning beauty of the landscape.
More to come when I get the pictures downloaded...meanwhile, as Hwell Houser would say, "Keep Traveling!".
I will freely admit that I was apprehensive about this trip. I had never, as an adult and I don't think as a child, taken an extensive road trip. I was concerned about spending hours on end in the car with a stop here and there for bathroom and fuel. I was concerned about agreeing where to eat and changing hotels every day. Crazy, I know, because I did that for years when I was working! And by the time you spot a "photo op" you've already driven by, so do you want to turn around and go back just to get a picture? YES!!!
A few things I learned along the way:
1. The great thing about taking the car is you can throw in a bunch of stuff that you "might" need/want. Who cares, you're not checking luggage.
2. The packing list differs from a flying trip packing list. We packed a flat of water, wine, snacks, fruit, clean up stuff, small cooler, things that make it comfortable. See #1.
3. It really helps if you get along with your traveling companion. Afterall, you will be in the car with them for several hours, trying to agree on places to stop, places to eat, and in a hotel room with them for the night and sharing a bathroom. I can't imagine how bad it would be to be locked in a car for hours and then a hotel room with someone if you were in a disagreement.
4. Fortunately, Dave and I have always traveled well together. We have our system worked out. However, I would say that you should agree upon important things (and the little things are important because one can get cranky with a bit less provocation), either overtly by discussion or you both just get it. For instance, usually Dave goes first in the shower because I need a few more minutes to wake up. Sometimes that changes, depending upon our schedule. I get my clothes for the next day out the night before and stage bathroom stuff to pack as I go in the morning and I always ask my driver (Dave) about departure time and back my morning "to do's" into the time so I'm ready to go. Also at bedtime .... noise, TV, what happens when one likes to stay up later - with the TV on? We got into a relaxed vibe ....after day 2, I was sleeping the whole night, waking up rested and ready to go. (At home, I rarely sleep more than 4 hours straight!)
5. Flexibility and a sense of adventure are key!
6. If you are the passenger, try and stay awake! Not only can you help the driver avoid a near crisis situation but you can also relieve the driver of road boredom with entertaining conversation.
7. If you are the passenger, you get to really take in all of the scenery! Try not to yell, "look at that!", only seconds later to be followed up by, "Jesus Christ! You almost got us killed!" Afterall, you asked the driver to look! Just take pics out the car window and share later!
8. No bitching or complaining. Who wants to be traveling with a kill joy!
9. If one of you is having "traveler's distress", the other should understand, be empathetic..afterall, it could be, and probably has been you.
10. Wine at the end of the day's trip makes it all better!
We saw some really beautiful sites! We found some places that we would have only found traveling by car. One morning we stopped for breakfast in Point Reyes. Cute little town, started talking with the waitress about the lighthouse and decided to back track and go for it. It was foggy, windy and cold. It was 20 miles down a winding road so the drive took most of an hour and when we got there, walked half a mile, mostly uphill, we saw the sign at the entrance to the lighthouse that indicated the walk up and back was was equivalent to climbing the steps of a 30 story building! We went for it! Despite thick fog and my fear of heights! Another great find, a place for breakfast outside of Jenner, CA. Timber Cove Inn! The setting was stunning! Finally, not only sea and rugged cliffs, but sun!!! We just happened along on the road and decided to stop in. Actually Dave pulled in. The sign indicated "lunch" but Dave thought we might just ask about breakfast! He was right! And my mimosa was fabulous! And the walk after breakfast was peaceful, beautiful...perfect.
A thing I found most amazing...the number of towns in Northern CA that are just spots, really dots, in the road. Populations from under 50 to just under 200. I marvel at how people decided to live here, what they do, where they shop for just basics...obviously everyone knows everyone...or maybe not, the stunning beauty of the landscape.
More to come when I get the pictures downloaded...meanwhile, as Hwell Houser would say, "Keep Traveling!".
Saturday, May 25, 2013
What do you do when you are staring at a blank white page, knowing you need to write, having no idea what about......well, let's start with I talk with 3 people almost everyday.....Mom, Teresa and Anne. They are my touchstones. They tell me the truth. I wish I could say I was so different from Mom, but I am probably more similar. We each expect a lot of those in our lives, but that is because we give a lot.
Today I will be opening up boxes of memories that I have not touched in 8 years. It's time to clean out some space, make room for the new.....but as the conversation with Mom went this morning.....it was all about the past. Maybe we are all just missing Daddy right now.
Today I will be opening up boxes of memories that I have not touched in 8 years. It's time to clean out some space, make room for the new.....but as the conversation with Mom went this morning.....it was all about the past. Maybe we are all just missing Daddy right now.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
How do you describe almost 40 years of friendship? It's like a marriage..."where do you want to go? What do you want to have for breakfast? What are we going to do today?"
We were best friends through school, room-mates in college, can just sit on the phone and say nothing...and after all the years, tears, angst, marriages, children, divorce, death, etc....I love you, my friend!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
This past trip to FL was hard! It was a "slap in the face" about the future! I pretty much slept yesterday, called my house cleaner and said please come Tuesday! Those of you that know me know my house is not dirty...just some sprucing up!
Mom is looking more and more like her mother and brother. She is tough in one respect, weak and frail in many other respects. I am a "fixer" person! So many things I saw at her house that needed my attention...so many memories spending time in the house I grew up in...I'm at a total loss as to how to solve the looming issues. And, of course, I look at my future, head on. Mom has me, I have, yet to be named, a trustee at WF.
I need to spend more time down there this year...for me and for Mom.
Mom is looking more and more like her mother and brother. She is tough in one respect, weak and frail in many other respects. I am a "fixer" person! So many things I saw at her house that needed my attention...so many memories spending time in the house I grew up in...I'm at a total loss as to how to solve the looming issues. And, of course, I look at my future, head on. Mom has me, I have, yet to be named, a trustee at WF.
I need to spend more time down there this year...for me and for Mom.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Life lessons from golf
I'm sitting here watching golf .....Saturday afternoon, Dave is taking a nap after 5 hours of driving to Vegas, and it did give me pause to think about what I have learned from golf. I've always been a competitor and athletic so taking a little white ball out of my pocket and hitting the shit out of it was not hard. Sometimes I've even imagined the little white ball had a name...like "Patricia" (my last and worst manager at WF).
In the corporate world, there was very little coorperation amongst women. We could have easily been the strongest contingent and taken over leadership with no problem...if only we had supported each other. Instead, it was always a competition, how can I one up that one? Why? Because we were practicing the age old how can I fuck you over and get your job or your husband or house...aka...solidify my security. Golf....when we gals play together..."great shot", even though it may suck! Who cares, we are going to support and lift each other up! "Keep your head down" And lots of other advice....all taken with love and understanding! You also learn about character. Who lies, who cheats, who just says "I'm showing up to play today...I have no idea how I will do". It's ok. We just want to spend a few hours in your company. You also see good sportsmanship. Hey, I will swear with the best of them but I don't throw clubs! And patience! A hard lesson for me! And forgiveness...depending upon the person, another hard lesson for me! And so many of the life issues that you have 5 hours to talk with your trusted friends about. It is a confidence builder to stand up in front of a little white ball, know your capacity that day, choose the right club (making the right choices), set up, shape your shot and tee it up at just the right height, fix your`stance and finally wait for the "ping"! But what is it really about? The same things that carry us through the other parts of life....experience, skill, knowledge, self confidence and hard won battle scars.
And the best part...men just look at you when you pull up in your cart with this unbeleiveable confusion. Apparently they have not hear that there is no longer a "ladies day" where that's the only day ladies can play. My firend and I played this past week and we had a twosome in front of us. They "declined' to play with women. I've always been intimidated to play with men. What I learned is they were more intimidated to play with us....who knew because we're funny and cute!
In the corporate world, there was very little coorperation amongst women. We could have easily been the strongest contingent and taken over leadership with no problem...if only we had supported each other. Instead, it was always a competition, how can I one up that one? Why? Because we were practicing the age old how can I fuck you over and get your job or your husband or house...aka...solidify my security. Golf....when we gals play together..."great shot", even though it may suck! Who cares, we are going to support and lift each other up! "Keep your head down" And lots of other advice....all taken with love and understanding! You also learn about character. Who lies, who cheats, who just says "I'm showing up to play today...I have no idea how I will do". It's ok. We just want to spend a few hours in your company. You also see good sportsmanship. Hey, I will swear with the best of them but I don't throw clubs! And patience! A hard lesson for me! And forgiveness...depending upon the person, another hard lesson for me! And so many of the life issues that you have 5 hours to talk with your trusted friends about. It is a confidence builder to stand up in front of a little white ball, know your capacity that day, choose the right club (making the right choices), set up, shape your shot and tee it up at just the right height, fix your`stance and finally wait for the "ping"! But what is it really about? The same things that carry us through the other parts of life....experience, skill, knowledge, self confidence and hard won battle scars.
And the best part...men just look at you when you pull up in your cart with this unbeleiveable confusion. Apparently they have not hear that there is no longer a "ladies day" where that's the only day ladies can play. My firend and I played this past week and we had a twosome in front of us. They "declined' to play with women. I've always been intimidated to play with men. What I learned is they were more intimidated to play with us....who knew because we're funny and cute!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Austin..get a grip!
I don't have kids. Do not know the ups and downs, certainly have my opinions, but have not had to live the day to day, the responsibility, the worry.
My nephew has decided that he is dropping out of high school, 3 months before the end of his last year. He says he is tired of getting up at 6:30am, (hell, I got tired of getting up at 4:30am to go to work but that was what was required) school is boring, he doesn't care about taking "the walk" to receive his diploma. I asked him "why" about all of this and his answer was "because". That's not an answer. Then I asked him what he planned to do with himself. No answer..."I need a break". A break from what? You're 18!
Of course, I'm beside myself! Education is of paramount importance to me. You can barely get a decent job with a high school diploma today! His plan is to get his GED. I asked him why, since he hates school, would he rather study for his GED and take a test. Well, according to him, he has it covered. Then I asked what his future plans were. He had just emailed me that he had his college plans lined up. Well, not so much. He says he wants to be a physical therapist. When I mentioned that would require school, which he apparently hates, there was a moment of "oh shit". And then I asked what next...no specific answers.
It pains me to see someone I love make choices that will have long term effects. I know at 18, there is little thinking about the future, it's just about today. At some point, real life will slap him in the face! WTF, it did for all of us! Some of us were just better prepared!
Austin, and I'm telling you this with all my love, stay in school, man up, get your diploma and then decide what to do next. I know things suck right now, believe me, they could be worse! You have two parents who love you, you have a roof over your head, you have food in the refrigerator, you have friends, you have family, you have clean clothes, fresh water, milk, you have unlimited opportunities ahead of you - unless you choose to limit yourself.
My nephew has decided that he is dropping out of high school, 3 months before the end of his last year. He says he is tired of getting up at 6:30am, (hell, I got tired of getting up at 4:30am to go to work but that was what was required) school is boring, he doesn't care about taking "the walk" to receive his diploma. I asked him "why" about all of this and his answer was "because". That's not an answer. Then I asked him what he planned to do with himself. No answer..."I need a break". A break from what? You're 18!
Of course, I'm beside myself! Education is of paramount importance to me. You can barely get a decent job with a high school diploma today! His plan is to get his GED. I asked him why, since he hates school, would he rather study for his GED and take a test. Well, according to him, he has it covered. Then I asked what his future plans were. He had just emailed me that he had his college plans lined up. Well, not so much. He says he wants to be a physical therapist. When I mentioned that would require school, which he apparently hates, there was a moment of "oh shit". And then I asked what next...no specific answers.
It pains me to see someone I love make choices that will have long term effects. I know at 18, there is little thinking about the future, it's just about today. At some point, real life will slap him in the face! WTF, it did for all of us! Some of us were just better prepared!
Austin, and I'm telling you this with all my love, stay in school, man up, get your diploma and then decide what to do next. I know things suck right now, believe me, they could be worse! You have two parents who love you, you have a roof over your head, you have food in the refrigerator, you have friends, you have family, you have clean clothes, fresh water, milk, you have unlimited opportunities ahead of you - unless you choose to limit yourself.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Mom
Mom has been the constant. I don't know many who could have faced the challenges she has and still come out of the other end, just as strong, just as positive, just wanting more life! Two rounds of cancer, 7 stents, living alone for 25 years and now more residual from the chemo. She has been our source of frustration and admiration. At 3 days old I was delivered into her arms, adopted, wanted and loved. Six weeks later, along came Michael. And I can tell you, if you ever knocked on her door at 3am, she would open it, cook for you and tell you to stay as long as you needed to. If I called her today and said that I would be there and needed her help she would figure it all out before I got there! I see the signs...aging, not eating, she is giving up a bit.
Daddy bought our plots on the roof garden at Glen Haven in 1964. I laid him to rest in 1990 and the road ahead is now with Mom. We will all be together.
I'm glad I will have some time in FL to spend my family!
Daddy bought our plots on the roof garden at Glen Haven in 1964. I laid him to rest in 1990 and the road ahead is now with Mom. We will all be together.
I'm glad I will have some time in FL to spend my family!
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