Are You Grown Up Enough To Have A Political Discussion?

Are you grown up enough to have a political discussion without getting into an argument, pissed or ending relationships?  Can you agree to disagree?


Dave has always gone to a certain coffee shop on Thursday mornings before his Oakdale sales meeting.  There is a group of mature men that sit at a table next to his and talk.  But recently, the person that joins Dave in the morning was offended by the political commentary from the other group and now they are going to Denny's.  Sad...

The reason I'm bringing this up is I believe a fundamental right in this country is that of speech and expression of opinion.  I don't have to agree or like what is said.  I certainly am offended by certain words used to describe people but I am also respectful of the rights that our founding fathers agreed upon in governing this country.

The recent legislation regarding illegal aliens and health care will dictate our next direction.  The election is hinging on how the country reacts.  And, as the baby boomers are reaching critical mass and living longer, these decisions are critical. My hope is, that as adults, intelligent people, people concerned for our future, we can discuss, discern and learn from other opinions.  Not be divisive because our future is in our hands. The time to come together is now.  Inclusive but by the established rules.

But to do this, we must be able to have discourse, not disagreement. 

Take a Risk

How often have you taken a risk in a relationship?  Especially a long term relationship where you have established patterns, habits and conversations.  What happens when all of a sudden you change the rules?  And what happens when you say I don't want to be sitting across the breakfast table in 20 years and talk about meaningless, day to day stuff all of the time...not to say that isn't great but I want more.  What happens when you say to your partner that you want to know each other on a deeper and more meaningful level?

So I took a risk this week.  It's been emotionally exhausting but I decided it was time to soar or fall.  However it came out, I would figure it out.  To talk about your hopes, fears, insecurities - especially as a woman who is aging in a society that values youth in a woman is extremely an vulnerable and revealing position.  It seems like we're always running to keep up with a competition we cannot possibly win. The one "gap" in our relationship is that I would never talk about my first marriage.  To me, that was being disloyal.  And, to my friends who know me, I am fiercely loyal.  As Dave said, he knows about my whole life, except 20 years...from 21-41 which I refused to talk about.  But, the trust, shift, whatever you want to call it happened.

This experience has been so enriching in our relationship and life.  To have my husband look at me at 48 years old and tell me that I have never been more beautiful and he has never been happier is a gift and I have never been more in love.  That is a blessing.

Take the risk...sometimes it's worth it.

What I Will Miss

Nora Ephron died yesterday.  She was a frank, funny, intelligent talent - not afraid to speak what we think but don't say.  She wrote a column entitled "What I Will Miss".  That caused me to pause and think about what I will miss.  Why?  Because I think it is, at times, important to pause and reflect.  We get so busy in the day to day stuff that we don't take the time to be present in the moment and enjoy what is at hand - until it's gone - just a memory or photo.

So....what I will miss, more importantly, what I want to remind myself to enjoy.

My wonderful husband
Zoe cat walking all over me in the morning
A beautiful sunrise
The ocean and walking forever on the beach
Almost daily conversations with my sister
A great meal outdoors with wonderful friends
A great glass (or 2) of Pinot
A beautiful, colorful new dress
Music
A book that you cannot put down
Driving a golf ball out into the air that just goes forever
Making a 20 yard putt
Doug's tuna sandwiches at the 6th hole
Farmers markets
Getting on the scale with one eye closed and seeing a good number
Fresh flowers
Cooking a great, inventive meal
Traveling to new places, and back to a few favorites
A movie that moves you to tears
A great pair of shoes
And many more I can't think of right now

At the end of the day, the simple joys are the most important.